Empty

The phone lights up.

1.00am.

He knocks over the bottle lying close by at his fingertips and the subsequent rattle breaks the silence of the night.

‘I hope you’re having a good week. I miss you, see you soon yeah?’

He switches off the phone and stretches for the bottle, hoping to salvage whatever that is left in it, and however little that is of it.

Empty. 

He then reaches for his cigarettes and lights a stick up, allowing smoke to fill up and float down his throat with a deep breath before puffing out a thin formless cloud from his lightly parted lips. 

He loves her. He desires her. He needs her. Yet. he doesn’t know how to make her his. He doesn’t want to know why he can’t have
her, or why he can’t bring himself to make her his. 

*music plays softly in the background: ‘and if you leave, my pain will go, but that’s no good to me, girl I love you, yes I love you so bad’

 

The next moment his eyes open, daylight has broken. 

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A Shield & A Facade

clear, cool night

Everyone knows a cynic or a skeptic in their life, no doubt. This person doubts, distrusts and believes not in the good things that come along or happen; they are unaffected by whatever goodness that may spawn from small or big things, and they would rather disregard than embrace. It is as though they believe not even in life itself, like as though everything is too good to be true and they have a stubborn refusal to accept anything that is worthy or true.

On the flipside, you may say a cynical or skeptical attitude towards life in general is like a safeguard, a shield or a wall in which these people choose to hide behind; they probably fear the possible disappointment more than they enjoy the likely happiness that waits in line for them. It is  perhaps something that they have developed over the many years and times of failure, setback and sorrow, so much so that they lose their belief in things working out for the good. They would rather be protected by a facade or delusion that nothing good would ever be heading their way, and they harden themselves to stay safe from anymore possible injuries that may wound them once too deep again.

It is true that no one likes a cynic or a skeptic for his pessimistic outlook and negativity, simply because they have not gone through what that person might have experienced before. No one can stand to a cynical or skeptical person’s comment on a joyous matter and everyone will regard that person as a party spoiler or deliberate wet blanket.

Truth is, no one was born to be negative and pessimistic. It is from the many unpleasant encounters and stumbling blocks that a distrusting and doubting character is cut and sliced out. No one would want to deliberately avoid and condemn good things and it already is beyond their control that they have become such detestable people.

The next time you come across a character like that, ask him about his story and past experiences and what comes out of that supposedly disdainful voice may shock you. If that does not work, you can simply look into those pair of eyes and through them, you may witness a  dim shade of sorrow and misery.

I dedicate this post to that person who stands in some corner in your life.