On Solitude & Loneliness 

This one shall be on my pet subject of many years now, and it is on solitude and loneliness (critically, their differences). I have written quite a bit on this topic over the years, and I have somehow become decently acquainted with these two words over the many times I have penned my thoughts down on them.

Perhaps you would disagree with me, but I see solitude as a state and loneliness as an emotion. Why do I say that? Well you can do things and live your life in solitude, and it is solitude rather than loneliness if you do not feel the void or the emptiness as you go about your every day. 

You can certainly say loneliness is a state too, but it is not so if it is not cemented by the intensity of the aloneness that you feel. Fundamentally, loneliness can be referred to as a state induced by the feeling of emptiness or a deep desire for affection and interaction; if simplified, it can also be viewed in its naked light as that very feeling itself. 

On the other hand, solitude is more of a choice that you make with regards to your lifestyle and the way you conduct your life. You may like to do things alone, be alone, live alone, and go about your every day (largely) alone; this is a decision you make and has no resultant or accompanying emotion (yes of course emotions are always present, but you get what I mean). 

As such we can see solitude as a behavioural pattern, while loneliness is a feeling that may or may not accompany this solitude. Given the innate nature of humans as social creatures, it is not wrong to say that all who live in solitude will experience bouts of loneliness once in awhile (with the duration and intensity varying from individual to individual and from circumstance to circumstance), but it is not however true to say that those who are lonely experience states of solitude since loneliness itself is not a choice. 

Solitude is a good thing: we all need time alone with ourselves to better acquaint us with who we are as persons, to better know our natures. The same cannot be said for excesses of it as it most likely would leave a person starved of interaction and affection. Loneliness on the flip side, in any amounts of it, is not ideal as it is firstly a very painful experience, and it could also lead an individual to do things which may have adverse effects on himself or those around him. 

It is good to know the differences between solitude and loneliness. You can then assess for yourself if you are actually in a state of solitude, or if you are using it as a disguise to mask the loneliness that is lurking deep within yourself. Kudos to you if solitude is your preferred way of life, though it is also prudent to acknowledge it if you find that what lies behind it is just a wardrobe of lonely bones and hidden woes.  

Are you enjoying your solitude, or are you unbeknownst to others drowning in loneliness? Take a moment to find out for yourself. 

Awaiting A Knock?

(Inspired by a conversation)

I see you turn the keys to the lock and open the front door
To a house without the lights on and without anyone home:

You’re probably spending the night alone again where you will
Make a cup of instant noodles and take a warm shower
After which you will switch the television on and watch a rom-com
Until you fall asleep and be greeted by daylight the next morning;

You switch the lights on and turn back
To bid me a good night and a good bye most candid;

I wave a goodbye to you and wish you a good night ahead
While keeping my eyes on yours to catch you just for a moment longer;

I was hoping you would ask me to stay just a little longer
Even if only for a cup of coffee or tea or a little chatter,
But you take one last look at me with those dazzling eyes before you
Close the front door and disappear into that empty apartment of yours;

Do you shoot every guy a look so mesmerising
Or is it a hint that perhaps there is something more?

Is your heart locked like your front door,
Or are they both awaiting a knock?

Another Vibration

I feel the movement many times and many ways,
Each time my spirit lifts and I look up to see if pinky stirs, 
But time and again pinky stays asleep at the corner of my eyes, 
And after each time my eyes look down again to face the dull numbers and words; 

All day long with each shake of the table I look towards pinky, 
But she stays in her slumber no matter how many times I look,
And as pinky stays dark my disappoint becomes a given with each glance,
Expecting something each time knowing that there would for me be none; 

To my left and to my right screens light up alongside the faces of people,
Through it all I continue staring at lonely figures and dejected alphabets,
Hoping for pinky to light up soon so that my face will brighten too, 
Hour upon hour she stays not with me but elsewhere without anything for me; 

Maybe there weren’t that many instances,
Perhaps in my anticipation and yearning I imagined a couple of them,
Thinking that maybe with the next one pinky would flash your name,
That perhaps finally my waiting would be over and my wish fulfilled;

Another vibration. 

 

 

(Hope you enjoyed the little scribblings up there, but the next vibration indeed was from my phone – the battery died and it was the vibrations of it shutting down. Haha to the imagery of darkness and solitude comes the imagery of death and conclusion. How humorous really, what an afternoon)

In Transition

Some people are forever in transition,
Stopping by places and times but always moving on,
Leaving behind footprints and memories but nothing really much more,
Walking away after the song is over and never waiting for the applause or encore;

Such people are very much like shooting stars that appear in the shadows of twilight: 
They light up the skies for lovers to dance and disappear quietly back into the darkness of the night.