To No End

I’m glad
Perhaps the timing is right
Maybe it’s a coincidence
But I’m still glad;

Glad that it makes a difference
Even in some small way
To put things back on track
To make things right again;

I think I can smile at this
Many years on perhaps
That maybe I did change things
Hopefully for the better;

A phase maybe (I don’t know)
I can’t even be sure which is
But if you tell me it is
I’ll take your word for it;

I pushed for it
Maybe I shoudn’t have
I don’t know really
Why don’t you tell me?

On one hand they disturb me
On the other I feel quite relieved
Yet should such conflicts even exist
To trouble a mind to such depth?

The status quo is comfortable
Thus tis’ easier to ignore
For deep thinking deepens disturbance

To no end.

Scumbag Chauffeur

Twelve thirteen eighteen
Twenty sixteen twenty-six:
They say age is a number
(But in this I don’t think so?)

Eight years apart
You doubled the age gap
From five to ten
(Who’s the one without sense?)

What about them
Young school girls
Do you like
(Looking for some lost innocence there?)

You irked me once back then
Now you just grossed me out again
(Is this about me, you or who?)

Leave them alone won’t you?

The wise men say
What goes around comes around
(So you better watch out!)

My Word (Against Theirs)

My word against theirs:

Words of sincerity and talks of friendship
Schemes of defamation and speech of untruth

You took the latter and tainted the former
As though splashing dirt onto a clean sheet;

My word against theirs:

You should have chosen your friends carefully
But its really too late for remorse now

You took the latter and smeared the former
As though the friendship meant nothing at all;

My word against theirs:
You should never have chosen the other.

A Haze of Blur 

I took another puff and exhaled. The smoke makes no difference to anything, it’s all a hazy blur. So what if I cough with each inhalation? It’s as though I am silently strangled and choking in this mist of restraint and confusion anyway. 

I reach for the cup beside my bed, gave it a light swirl and downed whatever remained of it from the night before. It didn’t go down well, and caused a jerk as it slid uncomfortably through a dry and coarse throat from a puff too much of Marlboro. ‘Damn it’ I thought, as I stare into the shroud of uncertainty gathering in front of me, a sinister shade of the unknown. 

Freedom awaits outside of these gates.