N, Just Wishful Thinking

(A short post in N’s diary)

You walk into the room and you look around to see who’s in class,
If you were looking to see if I was there – well our eyes met in a light glance, 
You found a seat and sat down beside someone we both didn’t know,
I watch you take your notes out and put on your spectacles while I brush through my hair;

You did not really look in my direction during the lesson while the teacher taught,
That I was aware because I frequently looked in your direction as I pretended deep in thought, 
And yet twice from my corner I caught you stealing a glance from the corner of your eyes, 
Were you trying to see what I was doing or was it nothing but a cursory survey around the class? 

I told you she was my good friend but I think you suspect more than that,
And every time you look at me or talk to me you think of me that afternoon holding her hand, 
So much so that you avoid interactions with me so your affections won’t be so clear,
Do you not feel the conflict and the pain inside you that torments me over here? 

Maybe you don’t even care – it’s all just wishful thinking on my part, 
O why must Cupid’s arrow shoot straight through my heart like a dart? 

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