The phone lights up.
He knocks over the bottle lying close by at his fingertips and the subsequent rattle breaks the silence of the night.
‘I hope you’re having a good week. I miss you, see you soon yeah?’
He switches off the phone and stretches for the bottle, hoping to salvage whatever that is left in it, and however little that is of it.
He then reaches for his cigarettes and lights a stick up, allowing smoke to fill up and float down his throat with a deep breath before puffing out a thin formless cloud from his lightly parted lips.
He loves her. He desires her. He needs her. Yet. he doesn’t know how to make her his. He doesn’t want to know why he can’t have
her, or why he can’t bring himself to make her his.
*music plays softly in the background: ‘and if you leave, my pain will go, but that’s no good to me, girl I love you, yes I love you so bad’
The next moment his eyes open, daylight has broken.
Fingers interlocked with hands wrapped tightly palm to palm,
He holds onto her hand ever so tightly and feels his fingers nestled nicely between hers;
Their hair brushes onto their faces and they get really close to each other,
She leans in close and takes a long deep breathe of him while he kisses her on the forehead gently;
A moment of comforting silence takes place around them in their world,
The sound of their surrounding fades away into the distance and a peaceful calm takes over;
They close their eyes and get all but lost in that very moment together,
Praying that time could just stop there so that their love could go on and last forever.
I walk down the same old bookstore aisle and turn that same little corner,
Expecting to see you sitting in front of that shelf searching for a play there;
I buy my cup of tea at the cafe and take an empty seat somewhere,
Feeling somehow you’ll be at the regular table – you always do your work there;
I pick up a book and flip through a couple of pages,
Sensing you’ll just spoil the rest of the story for me (just cos you’ve read it) there;
I walk past our regular coffee joint and look at the pretty pastries and comfortable chairs,
Remembering the barely edible things you used to bake and the cakes we used to eat there;
I reach for my phone and squint at the notifications,
Knowing somewhere that your name would show up with a few silly hearts right there;
But you’re not there anymore,
Maybe you never were there for me before.
– blame it on / credits to kino, and the melancholic music they play (23 Feb 2014)
When I smell her hair,
I experience the scent of flowers blossoming in their full glory in spring time;
When I look upon her smile,
I sense the work of all the angels in the mighty Heavens above;
When I hear her voice,
I appreciate no melody sweeter alongside no bells more pleasant in chime;
When I taste her lips,
I savour every bit of them and indulge in a taste of paradise.
The silence dawns
Sometimes you look but yet not see,
At times you listen but yet not hear;
The place is abuzz with activities but you zone out,
There is an emptiness there in your heart desperate to be found;
Life goes on and you walk alone,
Looking ahead yet not knowing where the wind blows;
You pick up your bag and continue your way,
Hoping to discover more love and good times in come what may.
He sits around with a mind that isn’t,
Listening to voices floating around and bouncing off walls,
Accents forced and false of pretence and affectation.
10pm on a star-filled night in a cafe of couples I sit alone,
Looking up from the edge of my laptop I see people talking,
Taking my eyes away from my Lit text I see people sipping coffee,
Little moments shared between people are what make life worthwhile;
I steal a glance at my latte once hot and tempting now cold and empty,
I reach for my pen and scribble a line or two to ink down what I feel,
Yet this feeling growing inside of me is not to be revealed on paper still,
For only due course will tell what becomes of this time that soon will fade into memory.